I leave Saturday — Saturday! — for San Antonio. From there, I go to Houston on Christmas Eve. That means I have to finish all my Christmas gifting, wrapping, tagging and packing in the next four damn days. I have no clue what to give my mother.

My sister’s gift is giving me problems, too. And the scarf I made her is now going to my grandmother, who is flying into San Antonio Monday, so I’m working on a very different scarf to replace it.

I finished my younger niece’s gift a long time ago, but the older niece? No clue. I hate to give one something lovingly hand-knit and the other a Barbie horse. Durrr! I don’t know what to do there!

Last, but not least, my darling beloved. I’m not at all concerned with getting her a gift. We’re getting new living room furniture in lieu of exchanging gifts. No, the problem there is that last night, she said, “What are we giving [oldest sister]? And [two brother-in-laws]?”

Now is when I get all ranty on her ass. But it really

I have two issues with that comment. One: Last night. Last. Night. Her lack of Christmas gifts occurred to her for the first time last night. In her defense, Christmas is still 10 days away, but I’m leaving Saturday afternoon, so if she expects me to do the shopping/making/thinking for her … she’s on crack. The woman has TWO Master’s degrees — One with honors! Right there on the damn diploma! “With Honors.” — and somehow she still believes in Smashley Claus.

Which leads nicely into Issue Two: Whaddya mean “we”? She’s had zero involvement in anything I’ve made, bought or otherwise created for my sister, niece, dad or even our mutual friends. In her defense, she did help with the first half of the Christmas cards.

All I want for Christmas is another weekend sandwiched in the middle of this week.


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