1. Have child, start company, hire child, micromanage child until she’s ready to quit. Should micromanaging alone not push child to the edge of sanity, call child “stupid” and tell child that she’s “wrecking” her current project. Other possible points of beratement: using superior computer programs to what I’m used to using, her over achievement issues, failure to read minds.
2. Write law preventing two individuals from legalizing their commitment to one another in order to protect personal religious views.
3. Start television network, find hyper-creative individual to create television shows that achieve cult followings and gain significant recognition for my network. Kill the shows at the height of their popularity.
4. Invent the wheel.
I’ve added a couple of new interests to my user info, including “sarcasm.”